“No wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.”

I traded up today. That is, moved to a different department. Now, I’ve left the confines of translating and have been moved to marketing. My computer is bigger and better, the air conditioning is colder and stronger, the people are younger and prettier. My new boss is nice beyond words, but also batshit crazy.

My company gives everyone free popsicles when the temperature in Beijing becomes hotter than 37 degrees. I found this out as I was browsing “baby gin and tonics” online, when a voice spoke excitedly in my ear, “DO YOU WANT POPSICLES???”

I twitched in my seat and turned, only to see my boss’s face one inch from mine, her eyes staring wildly and unblinkingly.

Later, as I was happily eating my popsicle and chatting online, my boss stuck her head back into my cubicle.

“DO YOU WANT ANOTHER POPSICLE???”

“Um…” I replied eloquently.

“I’LL GET IT FOR YOU!!!!” And off she ran, grin on her face, long hair streaming behind her.

I love this woman.

These days, she isn’t the only one who’s gone off the deep end. I’m feeling a bit mad myself. In honor of my newly resurrected bipolar tendencies, I’ve started to reread Alice in Wonderland. It was when Alice got to the “little three-legged table, all made of solid glass” that I began to realize that Lewis Carroll was giving me lots of great home decor tips. Excited to decorate my dorm next fall with an Alice in Wonderland theme, I began my search for Alice-esque furniture online. Apparently, this is not an original home decoration idea at all. There are so many websites offering “Alice in Wonderland” decorating tips. All of the things were so tacky and puerile, though (I stand by the fact that Alice in Wonderland is an adult novel).

I did, however, bid on this vintage orange marmalade jar.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE’, but to her great disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

Yes, that’s right. I bid on an empty jam jar on ebay for around $10 + shipping. Maybe I truly am going mad.

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